


Neglect

by jimlecavich1



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Asexual Raphael Santiago, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Insecure Raphael, Insecure Simon Lewis, M/M, Sad Raphael Santiago, Sad Simon Lewis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-16
Updated: 2018-06-16
Packaged: 2019-05-23 23:44:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14943575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jimlecavich1/pseuds/jimlecavich1
Summary: ”When people find out that I don’t always want sex, they don’t want a relationship. It’s like when they find out they want nothing to do with me. That is why I pushed you away by being cruel and I am sorry.”OrRaphael is mean to Simon because of his insecurities causing Simon to be Insecure.





	Neglect

Raphael was perfect.

He had beautiful dark brown eyes, he knew more than one language, his confidence was very,very sexy, and his body was amazing. His calves alone were gorgeous. Simon felt as though Raphael is exactly what a vampire should be. His features all shouted “Vampire”. It’s just Simon wished Raphael wasn’t so mean. He knew, or no, he hoped that Raphael didn’t mean to be mean but it still hurt Simon’s feelings when he would call him “Annoying” or “Idiota”. 

Simon wanted to tell Raphael how much it actually hurt him, but he knew Raphael wouldn’t take him seriously. He didn’t need Raphael to hate him any more than he already does. Raphael had told him many times by his actions that he didn’t like him. It hurt Simon even more because he kind of had a crush on him. 

…………….

It was 11 pm and they just started training. Simon was in a relatively good mood today. He had a dreamless night, which for him was good. If he wasn’t plagued by nightmares than he would be able to sleep which means he would be able to like up to Raphael’s expectations. Simon was trying really hard to not disappoint Raphael. 

But it seemed that whatever he did, he always seemed to annoy him. Raphael stopped his motions and walked over too pour himself blood. Raphael poured Simon a glass and handed it to him. Simon felt Raphael’s eyes on him as he took a drink. He stopped drinking and looked down in shame, feeling the judgement.

“What is wrong with you today, fledgling?”

Simon looked up at Raphael seeing a poker face. Simon faked a bright smile, “Nothing, what would be wrong?” Raphael raised an eyebrow and set his glass down obviously not impressed. “You are acting strange, I don’t like it,” Raphael said as Simon’s fake smile continued. Simon quickly changed the conversation, asking swiftly, “Is our training done?” Raphael’s eye’s widened momentarily as he nodded a yes. Simon disappeared into his room. 

………….

Simon shut the door as quietly as possible and sat down on the bed in the dark room. He felt completely alone. He didn’t like being a vampire, Raphael had helped him with the control and the strength but he new that it was just because he was new.

Simon let silent tears fall as he laid down on his bed. He knew better than to sob out loud because he was surrounded by vampires who could hear the pathetic weeps. He laid down letting himself break.

………..

Raphael didn’t know what was wrong. There was something wrong with his fledgling. He was acting like a completely different person. He wasn’t making those dumb jokes, he wasn’t asking weirdly fascinating questions, and he wasn’t ranting about stupid subjects. Raphael was intrigued by Simon. He was very nice;even when he threw a knife at you.

Raphael walked past Simon’s room hearing a little sniffle. He walked closer to the door and he heard another. He lifted his hand up to the wood knocking slightly. “Simon are...are you ok?” Raphael said just loud enough for him to hear. 

Simon shot up in his bed roughly wiping the tears away. “I’m fi-” Simon started before he was interrupted, “Don’t say you are fine when you are not, just talk to me.” Simon stood up looking into the mirror quickly before opening the door. Raphael saw the tear streak stains down Simons face and whispered, “Oh Simon.” 

Simon looked down, not wanting the pity, slightly opening the door wider. Raphael walked in allowing Simon to shut the door. He opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by Simon. “You know you don’t, have to do this,” Raphael looked at him confused. “Do what baby?” Simon scuffed and let out a humorless laugh,”Pretend like you care, you know just because I am a vampire, that doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings. I don’t like being messed with,” Simon didn’t allow himself to look into Raphael’s eyes. 

He was surprised by how rude he was being. “Simon I don’t mean to make you feel neglected,” Raphael seemed to be reading his mind. “You don’t mean too but you do,” Simon said finally looking up. “Simon, I want to apologize. I understand that you think I try to be this way. But I really have been trying to be nicer, but it’s just when I feel for someone I usually don’t get those feelings returned so I tried to be mean to you and try to reflect the anger to make you hate me but i'm sorry for that. I really have been trying,” Raphael said with glossy eyes.

Simon kind of felt bad, he felt like he wasn’t wanted but it turned out be the complete opposite. Raphael rubbed fingers over his lips and he felt a panic go over him, “Simon, do you… think you can forgive me? Please?” Simon looked up at Raphael, “I am, so sorry.” Simon looked at Raphael still a little confused.

“You said that when you had feelings, they usually aren't returned? What? What exactly so you mean by that?” Simon gave Raphael a moment to think and stayed quiet as he answered,”When people find out that I don’t always want sex, they don’t want a relationship. It’s like when they find out they want nothing to do with me. That is why I pushed you away by being cruel and I am sorry.” 

Simon looked at Raphael noticing his eyes. Which usually were dry and stern, but now were wet and shaking with nervousness. Simon stood up and walked towards Raphael. He stopped when he was standing in front of Raphael.

He didn’t know what to do. Should he hug him? Should he kiss him? He was ripped out of his thoughts by Raphael touching his face. Raphael placed a soft kiss to his lips and pulled back. Looking down at the ground. Simon realized what he had done and leaned in for another one. Raphael pulled the back of his neck to deepen it. 

They both pulled back at get a breathe they both didn’t need. Simon rested his head against Raphael’s, “Can you...lie with me for a while?” Raphael pulled back and his face lit up. They both stripped down to their boxers. Simon slid into bed and pulled the blanket down, signaling him to come into bed. 

Raphael laid down next to Simon. Simon tried not to let his eyes roam but he couldn’t help it. Raphael’s body was gorgeous. Simon looked up at Raphael’s face to see that he was smiling shyly.

“Am I making you uncomfortable,” Simon asked running his hand up Raphael’s stomach. Raphael shook his head whispering, “Don’t stop, I like it. It feels nice like, like you like every part of me.” Simon smiled at him and laid his head down on Raphael’s chest. Imagining a phantom heart beat he fell asleep.


End file.
